Posted September 16, 2016
Mindful Parenting: Feeling all of the Feelings
In our efforts to be more mindful parents, there are things that come up for us time and time again. Often, those things are our feelings. They creep into the middle of our chests to expand and contract when we are feeling anxious. They exuberantly open our eyes and mouths with laughter when we are feeling joyful. They embed their roots into our tear ducts and throats when we are feeling sadness. Pesky, insufferable and remarkable are these feelings. Yet how often do we find ourselves dismissing them, distracting ourselves, or passing judgement by setting the bar higher than we are capable of meeting?
Parents are inherently busy people. Many work full time jobs. Most maintain their home. Parents feed their families, engage their children, and attempt to preserve their social lives, as well as practice self-care. Parents of foster and adoptive children take on even more. They rebuild attachment missing from birth, they maintain a trauma-informed lense, and they parent each child individually based on their history.
As busy, compassionate human beings, it is vital to our well-being to acknowledge and honor our own feelings, either positive or negative. Everything we experience internally serves a purpose and gives us information about ourselves in relation to the world around us. Honoring feelings helps us know when we need to tag out with a spouse, partner or friend. It also allows us to recognize and name feelings for our children, which in turn teaches them empathy for others.
As you transition into the weekend, take time identify what has taken up residence inside of you this week. Take a moment to assess the purpose it serves. Finally, acknowledge your own gifts as a parent. You are marvelous!
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Tune in each Friday for more Everyday TBRI®
What is TBRI®?
TBRI® is an attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention that is designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children. TBRI® uses Empowering Principles to address physical needs, Connecting Principles for attachment needs, and Correcting Principles to disarm fear-based behaviors. While the intervention is based on years of attachment, sensory processing, and neuroscience research, the heartbeat of TBRI® is connection.
TBRI® is designed for children from “hard places” such as abuse, neglect, and/or trauma. Because of their histories, it is often difficult for these children to trust the loving adults in their lives, which often results in perplexing behaviors. TBRI® offers practical tools for parents, caregivers, teachers, or anyone who works with children, to see the “whole child” in their care and help that child reach his highest potential.
Want to know more? Visit TCU’s Institute of Child Developmenthttp://child.tcu.edu/.